RELATIONSHIP SECTION
BY BROTHER ODUYOYE JOSHUA .
First I want to appreciate every member of the Immaculate global outreach platform , the admins for their great works ,and most especially you following tonight…. Thanks for having me to speak in the relationship and health weekend,
Accolades to the last night teacher , he really did some good touch on having a good health in a very much different perspective , thanks so much to Bro Paul … God bless you real good
Tonight , I’ll be speaking to us , on the relationship aspect of our life based on the team of this month RELATIONSHIP AND HEALTH WEEKEND .
So having the theme ;
LOVE VS LUST; SET THE BOUNDRY
First I had like to say that if the purpose of a thing is not know , abuse is inevitable, and where there is no law , there is no sin …
Considering this two concept,(LOVE /LUST ) you would agree with me that both of this concept can be forced to have the same meaning by action if there is no one to point to the differences in the product .
You know I like story … smiles..
I’ll give this short story ,I bet you , you would like it …. But in the process , don’t be distracted , get the point from it …. Are you ready for this ?
OK the story is about you …ooohhhh
So… you see a lady (or guy … if you’re a lady ) walking across the love garden of your institute , at school. They glance over your direction, only to see you staring right at them with a stunned look on your face! You quickly pretend that you are looking at something else! You start to sweat a little… you try to play it cool, but on the inside your guts do a triple somersault, with a half twist and a few pirouette’s for good measure.
Then as she wanders into the distance giggling with her friends, you’re left sitting there like an idiot, with a billion thoughts and feelings pulsing through you, most of which are confusing, and you have no idea what to do with… you know you like her… but is it more than that? Do I love her? Or is it just that you think she’s hot? How do you tell the difference between Love and Lust? The truth is that Joshua has being in this shoes and knows what it feels like to feel real uncomfortably stupid ….lol, the truth is that a lot of person are fighting this same storyline day in day out . LUST /LOVE …..
Although we can often get the two confused, the Bible is very clear about the difference between love & lust. As Christians, we need to make sure that we work hard at understanding the difference, because the outcome of loving someone is vastly different from the outcome of lusting after them! So TONIGHT I will be shearing here how we can identify love , lust, and work out the difference between them.
Let me run an overview by definition and see how this helps first as we move on ..
From the dictionary ; LUST IS TO HAVE A STRONG sexual DESIRE .and its synonyms with : sexual desire, sexual appetite, sexual longing, sexual passion, lustfulness, ardour, desire, passion, libido, sex drive, sexuality, biological urge, lechery, lecherousness, lasciviousness, lewdness, carnality, licentiousness, salaciousness, prurience, horniness, raunchiness, the hots, randiness, salacity, concupiscence, nympholepsy
Verb; have strong sexual desire for someone.
Synonyms: desire, be consumed with desire for, find sexually attractive, find sexy, crave, covet, want, wish for, long for, yearn for, hunger for, thirst for, ache for, burn for, pant for, have the hots for, lech after/over, fancy, have a thing about/for, drool over, have the horn for…(dictionary )
From the above dictionary analysis, we can point out so clearly that Lust is out rightly out of Gods big plan for every believer in Christ Jesus.
Having said that, can we see on the other hand what love is …
Love by definition
Love is An intense feeling of affection and care towards another person, or a deep liking for something, it’s also a profound and caring attraction towards someone.
Let me run an expanded review on this definition…..
If you Love somebody it must be beyond feelings and affection you must be set to accommodate such a person regardless of whatsoever goes wrong and beyond that, you are always set to care for such a one …
Do you know that if you love someone, you will truly not like to hurt them, either socially , sexually, or other way round … you will always care for them … for some their definition and manna of expressing love is actually to have sexual pleasure..this is demonic and should be fought against with all wisdom.
Let’s put this together now
For me Love is a deep desire, affection or feeling that you have for another person .. its lasting attraction that goes beyond the surface and turning into emotional attachment ,in this note you could feel the pain of another , you could feel their joy, you become so linked up that you are inseparable in thought and concept , you easily flow with each other this is what true Love Looks like .. so from the level of friendship( either male of female ) to the level of being into courtship OF CAUSE SETTING THE BOUNDARIES GENERALLY AND ALSO WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE FACT THAT , NO MATTER HOW A SAME SEX CAN LOVE THEMSELVES, BIBLICALLY THEY CANNOT GET MARRIED TO EACH OTHER BUT CAN YET BE AS CLOSE AS CHRIST IS CLOSE TO HIS CHURCH .
…. Lust on the other hand is basically a physical attraction that leads to an overwhelming feeling of sexual desire …..Lust is symbolic when you are totally focused on a person’s looks and body . You are interested in having sex, but not in having conversation. And this is the present problems of many who have falling in to the sneer of having to rape another, or talk another into an ungodly life style
Let get a little bit more deeper has we see scriptures
WHAT EXACTLY Is LOVE?
I know , for sure you will be quick to say God is love ,so that will further mean that everything about him is what point us to love …… but wait a minute , if God is , how do we make the person of God affect us? how do we all his attribute affect us
There is quite a lot in the Bible about love. As a matter of fact — according to Matthew 22:34-40, every command that is written in the Bible stems from love! Either loving God, or loving your neighbor (that is, anyone and everyone that you come into contact with). It even tells us about the ultimate example of love in Jesus Christ taking the punishment we deserve by laying down his life for us so we can be forgiven for our sin.
But perhaps the most well known passage about love is 1 Corinthians 13 where we get a list of all the things that define what love IS and what it IS NOT. Love IS NOT envious, boastful, proud (self glorifying), rude, self seeking or easily angered, and it does not hold stuff against one another! Rather, love IS patient, kind, truthful, protecting, and hopeful, it never fails, but always perseveres with the other person, even when it is hard and you don’t really feel like doing it! In other words, love is other-person-centered. It is all about putting the person who you love first, even before yourself… and sometimes at your own expense!
SO WHAT EXACTLY IS LUST?
The Bible also says a lot about lust! And the book of Proverbs is full of helpful hints & tips and is a must read for every young and growing Christian! Other passages to read are Matthew 5:27-30, Romans 1:18-32 & 2 Samuel 11, where King David lusts after an attractive young girl & ends up breaking most of the 10 commandments in one day! When you read these passages you’ll see that lust NEVER ends well, and that’s because it stems from a sinful heart.
At the core of lust is selfishness, disrespect and a lack of self control, none of which are valuable characteristics in God’s eyes. Lust is self-centered. It is all about putting your desires first, without giving a thought to the person that you are lusting after. This generally plays out differently for guys and girls. Usually guys lust after the physical i.e. what they can see or touch, whereas for girls it’s usually more emotionally based i.e. what makes them feel good or special. But of course, everyone is different and this is not always the case for everyone.
Now the challenge is for you to be totally different, and unique, setting the boundaries by grace and the influence of the holy spirit . ill shear with you 15 powerful ways to fight against lust and set the boundaries right
15 WAY TO FIGHT AND WIN THE POWER OF LUST
1.Stop tempting yourself.;
Porn and other tempting images are not good for your eye gate
2.Learn respect for yourself and others;
If you allow lust to be the driver in your daily relations with others, then you’re not connecting fully with yourself.
3. Avoid drugs and alcohol.;
Drugs and alcohol remove your inhibitions, making it harder for you to fight lustful feelings. If you partake in these, stop.
4. Acknowledge your needs; .
Most holy books acknowledge that sexual desire is normal, so don’t feel bad about having sexual needs. Acknowledge them, because not doing so can create a very unhealthy mentality and make those feelings even stronger! Let yourself feel sexual feelings but do not act on them.
Brothers listen closely , that you are having erections(which is normal –thou not in all cases ) does not mean that you should follow the direction of your erections
5. Be prepared. ;
If you go in unprepared, then of course you’re going to have problems. Acknowledge that you have issues with lust and then prepare yourself when you know you will be going anywhere with temptations. Preparing yourself mentally and having a game plan is half the battle..Joseph knew how to do this .. don’t sit down there and be tonguing …carry your legs and run …
6; Bounce your eyes. ;
When you go somewhere where temptation is strong, follow the practice of bouncing your eyes. This means that if you see something that can cause lust, immediately find something else to look at. This is a very handy practice and can help a lot.
7 Pray or recite a memorized verse.;
Another way to distract yourself would be to recite, either aloud or in your own head, any verse you know. This can remind you of God’s love and help you keep his laws.
8. Avoid the causes of your temptation.
9. Hang out in groups. ;
If you cannot avoid the person who causes you to lust, you’ll need to find a healthier way to interact with them. One option would be to only spend time together when you are with other people. This will help keep you from saying or doing things you shouldn’t.
10.Walk in the Spirit. And Renew your mind ;
The next step is to submit your life to the Holy Spirit. “If you are guided by the Spirit, you won’t obey your selfish desires” (Gal. 5:16). Remember, you can’t fight lust on your own, so ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Focus on God’s Word and allow Him to remove your lustful thoughts and actions (Rom. 12:2). put away everything that appeals to the flesh and focus on God (Eph. 4:17-24; 2 Cor. 10:5).
11.Resist and flee.
Perhaps the best advice all is simply this: Run! Don’t allow lust to linger in your mind. Get far away from situations and influences that threaten to trap you (Prov. 5:8; James 4:7-8).
12. Partake in friendly activities.
This is a general way of distracting yourself , remember the idle mind is the devils workshop, you can help yourself to avoid staying alone and thinking evil … by engaging friends to discuss different issues of life …..
13. Do not touch them.(opposite sex )
Touching them, even if you just touch them in reasonable places like the hand or arm, can sometimes make lustful thoughts worse. Try not to touch them at all, if you’re really having trouble. This can help a lot.
14.Spend time together in safe places.
If even spending time only in groups isn’t helping, another option is to spend time with them only in places like a church, temple, or other holy meeting place. God will protect you and help you focus only on Him and not on your lustful thoughts.
15. Pray for God’s help.
God will help protect you from these unwanted feelings but you must work with him. He will send you help but you have to keep your eyes open and look for the solution that he has sent. This can be hard sometimes, but with the help of your friends, family, and spiritual advisers, you will get the help you need.
Paul the apostle made clear in his letter to the Corinthian church “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13.
What is the difference?
The difference between love and lust is the attitude of your heart. If you’re in love, the attitude of your heart is one of selflessness, with the other person as your focus, whereas if you are in lust the attitude of your heart will be one of selfishness, with yourself as the focus.
True love is driven by a godly desire to provide for, nurture and care for the other persons needs, whereas lust is driven by an ungodly desire to provide for, nurture and care for our own sinful passions. When you love someone you choose to stick with that person at the expense of all others, even when it’s hard and you don’t want to! When you lust after someone, you get angry and throw in the towel as soon as you don’t get what you want, or you manipulate them until they do what you want them to do.
So… if you find yourself wondering about whether or not you’re in love, ask yourself “what is my heart attitude towards this person? Is it one of selflessness or selfishness? Am I willing to put the hard yards in, even when I don’t really want to, or will I probably throw in the towel when things get tough? Do I want to invest into this person, or is it just about fulfilling my human desires?” The answer to these questions will be a sure indication of whether you are in love, or lust.
Thanks for reading through the August Edition of the Immaculate Global Outreach Relationship and health weekend Discussion……
Do join us again on another edition of the Balanced Christan …
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God bless you real good.